My last post was around 4 years ago. I let life get in the way of my whining. This July will be eight years since our lives have been turned upside down. We have faced appeal hearings, appeal denials, and changes to housing. He now lives across the state which makes it difficult to see him and I couldn't do it without the help of his family.
At one point, my husband was brought back to have a hearing on his appeal. It was nice to have him closer but the visitation in county jail was a lot different than prison. We couldn't even be in the same room. Since he left to serve his time in the prison system, the county that we used to live in now requires video conferencing for the visits. I understand that is for the safety for all involved, but my problem is that we never had any contact during those visits. So in my opinion, the video visits were only for two reasons: 1. So they can monitor the visits easier (fine) and 2. Keeping contraband from being smuggled to inmates. (I do feel sorry for any organization that cannot trust its employees since I NEVER HAD CONTACT WITH MY HUSBAND AT COUNTY).
The other significant event that happened during this time was actually at the hearing. We were in the same room with the student with the lies and their family. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but it was manageable. I did not lash out as much as I wanted to. I could control my need for retribution. At the end of the hearing both sides were talking to the lawyers. My husband had to go to the bathroom. He was kept in his shackles because he is in the system. He had to hobble his way across the room to get there. As he hobbled across the prosecution side, the mother and two of her children felt the need to laugh out loud at my husband's predicament. As a parent, I understand the feeling of wanting to hurt the person that I think hurt my child. I just don't understand how laughing can be part of the equation.
We have had other ups and downs in the system. It is not an easy life. I should have thought of sticking with this blog much sooner to keep the ups and downs up to date.
We have been going through another difficult challenge for the past week. Last week, I was actually visiting my husband. I was looking forward to being with him. I have been going through a lot lately with my job and we were going to take the weekend to hash it out. When I got there, I found out that it was going to be a non contact visit because he had been locked up. It is something that they do for violent prisoners and other trouble makers. He had informed me that several of the inmates around him have been locked up and so I was afraid that his time was coming. Suddenly, I felt like I had suffered a punch in the gut. I was suddenly afraid for my husband and I had no idea what he was going through.
I tried to be strong when I saw him, but I was still not prepared to see my husband in a cage. During visit, they are placed in a secure cell to keep everyone safe. When I finally got to lay eyes on him, I started crying, which started him crying. He cannot be seen crying so that made us both shape up. We were more concerned with the other, and when we saw that we were both okay we could cope. He knew nothing about what brought him to this point, but he had an idea that it was his connection with a neighbor of his. We made it through our visit and like always, we made the most of it. We always know that together we can handle anything and everything.
When an inmate is locked up, they are placed in solitary and when they do get to leave their cell, they are handcuffed and monitored by two guards at all times. I have watched my husband get handcuffed enough for this lifetime. Usually, when a visit is over we get to hug and kiss and linger just a second longer to say good bye again. This time when the guards came to escort him, I waved good bye and left. There was not a second good bye this time. That was the last time that I have talked to him.
His mother visited him this weekend. He is still locked up. The only clue to the charge apparently came when the warden on duty told him as he was leaving our visit that they knew that my husband and his neighbor are trying to start a business which of course is illegal. He still cannot call me and I don't know when this will be over for us. It is just more proof on the lack of control we have on our lives. That about catches us up on my husband. I'm praying that this is over soon.
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